One of a kind

This was a speech I delivered on the 22nd of Jan this year. It was a "roast" and the guidelines were to:

• Poke fun at a particular individual in a good-natured way
• Adapt and personalize humorous material from other sources
• Deliver jokes and humorous stories effectively

My subject was our club VPE and my Asst. AG Marketing Pawas Chandra. At the outset, thanks to him for being so sportive and agreeing to be subjected to a little leg-pulling :-) Here goes....

At the stroke of the midnight hour, when this part of the world is asleep, this gentleman is wide awake.He still has a couple of hours before going to bed. The best time to speak to him is between 3 to 7pm when his faculties are wide awake. Hi Orkut profile says he is "infectious and incurable". He is the one of a kind, Pawas Chandra.

Pawas is a typical modern-day bachelor. One look at his room will convince you if you have any doubts. He has, at last count, 517 friends on facebook and 411 on orkut. Okay, there may be a few duplicates, but a healthy percentage are of the feminine species.

I'm sure all of us have been struck by the time stamp of Pawas' emails. Being an owl, it is quite difficult for him to get up early in the morning. For our recent club picnic, we were required to assemble opposite Metro on Kanakpura Road at 9.30am. Pawas was determined to be there on time, even if it meant getting up early. He arranged for a wake-up call in the form of Jindow. It's a different matter that Jindow himself is no early bird. How, between themselves, they managed to reach Metro by 9.30am is another story! Pawas, I hope you've made some arrangements for getting up early this Sunday... there's the Officers Training Program, remember?

Before joining Toastmasters, Pawas was a bright engineer at HP. Now don't get me wrong, he's still bright! While at HP, he had 5 patents to his name. I asked him about it. He gave me a detailed explanation of how they were an amalgamation of marketing strategies and technical know-how to finally arrive at some mumbo-jumbo. I then realized how he'd got his patents... if you can't convince, confuse!

Pawas joined Bangalore Toastmasters in April 2008 and a few months later, chose me as his mentor. A few months later, he had set his target: CC in 4 months or less. From then on, his life changed. As his mentor, so did mine!

He called me over to his house for a speech practice session. There wasn't much furniture in the room, just a mattress on the floor that looked like it hadn't been cleaned for a few months. I asked him if the mosquitoes and bedbugs didn't bite him. His reply - Oh, they don't trouble me at all... they sleep before I do!

It's a tribute to Pawas' commitment and determination that Pawas today has set a goal and achieved it. That's on the communication track. Along the leadership track too, Pawas has been steadily rising. He's been our Sergeant-at-Arms, where he had to greet guests and make them feel comfortable. He did pay special attention to the lady guests. He then rose to be the VP Membership, where he had to "pay more attention" to the guests. He's now the Asst. Area Governor Marketing, where his job involves talking to pretty HR executives selling them the concept of Toastmasters! He's doing a pretty good job actually...

Pawas is preparing for his MBA now and this reflects in his conversation. We were discussing the games we love and I mentioned cricket. He said, what's great in cricket? You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man in the side that is in goes out and when he's out, he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they've all been in and out, the side that has been out in the field comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get out those coming in. Sometimes there are still men in and not out. When they've all been in and out, including not outs, that's the end of the game. What's great in it?

Pawas, you're a young man and I see great things ahead of you. If you want to cement your relationships, here's some advice for you. Don't kiss a lawyer, she'll say, "I object". Don't kiss a doctor, she'll say "Next". Only kiss a physiotherapist. She'll say, "Hold for 10 seconds and repeat 10 times".

Mr. Toastmaster!

It was a good experience speaking again... after more than 6 months! Ok, so the content could have been modified a little bit. I had another joke for the MBA part but my presence of mind let me down - We were discussing golf and Pawas said, "Golf is an ineffectual attempt to direct an uncontrollable object into an inaccessible hole with instruments ill-adapted for the purpose!" For the most part, I got a pretty good reception from the audience. The final line was the clincher. Those who know Barbara and me will appreciate the humour more... incidentally, Barbara forwarded me this SMS joke!

Cheers!
Arun

p.s. Thanks to Sunil for processing the video. Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lOHZYmYt0U

Poetry revisited

It's been a long time since I posted a poem, so here's a piece I composed between 10am and 12noon on the 23rd of August, on the last day of an NLP program I attended. Those who were part of the program might appreciate the context more.

I just completed my first NLP course,
For 6 days, 24 of us were to each other an inspiration source..
Each of us was a true gem,
Through these few lines, let me introduce you to them.
Our trainer was the enthusiastic, experienced and expressive Ashlesh,
He appeared to us as inspirational as Lord Ganesh.
Divya and Nandana were assisting from the start,
To the effectiveness of the sessions, they played an integral part.
Let me introduce you to the bouncy and vibrant Vandana,
And the quiet and introspective Shamna.
Michael was a true inspiration,
His anecdotes and naughty wit were a revelation.
George was his schoolmate and friend for 40 years,
He broke 4 tiles and allayed our fears,
Sunand had scaled many a Himalayan peak,
He sacrificed his treks for almost a week.
Rajesh and Raghavv stood tall,
When they stood side by side, it felt like a wall.
Chethan told us about his inner voices,
He was exceptional at making animal noises.
Pankaj was as active as a bunny,
When he walked into the room, it suddenly felt sunny.
Shridev and Shivdeep caused me confusion,
One of them smoked, that was the differentiation.
Joshua was the bubbly guy,
Priya was leaving for her MS, so after the course, we said bye bye.
Lieske was the sole foreigner in the group,
When we used Hindi words, she was in quite a soup.
Ranga shared his experience as a coach,
It created in us a lot of thought or soach. (Hindi)
Shubani got rid of her fear of dogs,
For her it felt like the lifting of logs.
Sumith and Kiran were like peas in a pod,
They shattered the tiles like would a rod.
Anand was the CA, always with a number,
Many of Puvana's experiences made us wonder.
Richa was the first to break a tile,
She drove her fears many a mile.
Surya and Reshmi were the last of the bunch,
I'll never forget the laughter after the last lunch!

Cheers,

Arun

Creepy...

This is spooky.... It started rather innocuously when I saw about an hour's bit of the Kannada movie "Yajamaana", courtesy KSRTC screening this movie en route from Mumbai to Bangalore. This happened on Sunday morning. The movie starred Vishnuvardhan in a dual role as an elder and younger brother. Read the storyline here.
On Tuesday, I was browsing through photos on facebook and saw 2 of my classmates, Arjun and Santosh striking a pose that suggested a song being sung in true Kannada movie style. I wrote a comment "Let me guess... Arjun is singing a Vishnuvardhan song..."
On Wednesday morning came the shocking news of the sudden demise of Vishnuvardhan due to a heart attack! This chain of events has left me wondering... was there a link? I'm not a fan of Kannada movies and I don't follow the lives of Kannada film actors, but I was struck by the coincidence of it all.
What do you say?

My Hyderabad trip - Nov 21-22, 2009

I visited Hyderabad for the very first time last month. The occasion was Reverberations 2009, the Semi-annual conference of our District. A group of us (Rajdeep, Karthikeyan, Balaji and myself) left Bangalore on the night of November 20th by bus. The 10-hour ride was unexpectedly extended courtesy a punctured tire. We reached Hyderabad an hour and a half late.
After a hurried breakfast, I rushed to Hotel Fortune Select Manohar, the venue of the conference. The District Committee meeting had already begun. I had to present the Division B status, since Srikanth was coming in late. Incidentally, this was the second time, after Delhi in 2007, when my Division Governor was missing and I had to present the Division report! Anyways, my report was well received. After lunch, I rushed off to explore the Hyderabad public transport, thanks to a shopping list prepared by Barbara :-). I was given superb guidance and found myself just where I wanted to be... Shopping done, I returned in time for the Division Council meeting. Among the items discussed were the possible realignment of District 82 to cater to the current size and expected growth of Toastmasters in the region. It was decided that the District leadership would put forward 2 proposals to TMI to split the District. We should know the outcome in February when the TM Board meets.
The evening of the 21st was dedicated to fun and party. Being the 85th year of the Toastmasters movement, the party was themed on the 80’s. The attendees were appropriately dressed in faded jeans, oversized sunglasses and bell-bottomed pants. I was dressed in a kurta-pyjama... don't know if I fit in the theme, but so what if I didn't, I was dressed differently! Toastmasters young and old rediscovered their dancing shoes and partied late into the night.
The 22nd was dedicated to the educational sessions and contests. The day began with the formal opening ceremony and keynote address by renowned social reformer Dr. Jayaprakash Narayan. The educational sessions followed a short cultural program. All 4 educational modules were appropriate and well received. The topics covered were Personal Change, Live Life With Passion, Voice Wish List and Managing Conflicts. Since 2 parallel sessions were held, I attended the first 2 sessions.
It was now time for the contests. Following Albert Tauro’s test speech, the 9 best evaluators of the District, representing the 9 Divisions, fought it out for the crown of the Best Evaluator of the District. Rajdeep was the 5th speaker and he finished his well-crafted evaluation with a piece of poetry that had his opponents gasping, the audience wowing and the judges nodding their heads in appreciation. Needless to say, Rajdeep’s winning was a foregone conclusion.
The quality of the Humorous Speech contest has steadily been rising, ever since the first such District-level contest in 2007. The audience was in splits of laughter from the first to last words of all 9 speakers. Unlike the Evaluation contest, choosing a winner was a very difficult proposition for the judges. Eventually, Vivek Reddy was declared as the Most Humorous Speaker of District 82.
A couple of things stood out at Reverberations. Firstly, the seamless organization and coordination between the various organizing sub-committees. Full marks to Host Division F Governor, Venkata Ramana Dittakavi and Conference Chair Ajit Dembla for ensuring that the 2-day program went off without a hitch. All needs of the delegates, be it travel or accommodation were looked after. The second highlight was the exceptional quality of evaluations and humorous speeches. This was reflected in the fact that all 6 winners, 3 from each event, came from 6 different Divisions!
Our journey back was uneventful. We reached Bangalore on schedule and I was even lucky to get the elusive direct bus home!! Thus ended my first Hyderabad trip... one of learning, sharing and fun.

Cheers,
JAM

Poetic Evaluations

Dear readers,

I've now composed 3 'poems' as part of my evaluations at Toastmasters. All three have fetched me the Best Evaluator award for that meeting. Do I see a pattern? Well, you can draw your own conclusions :-)
The first poem was for Ravi Pratap Singh's Icebreaker, the second for Nagaratna Nagaraj's Project II and the third for Rajdeep Manwani's advanced project on the guidelines "Speak off the Cuff". Nagartna wanted to keep what I wrote for her, so I don't have that to share with you. The other two are here for your reading pleasure. As always, your comments are welcome :-)

For Ravi Pratap Singh:
Strongly did your speech begin,
You shared with us the promotion joy you felt within.

You told us the struggles you went through in your early life.
You also told us about your child and your lovely wife.

You had us enthralled with humour,
This is a hit with the girls, that's the rumour.

You told us about your dream,
With the Toastmasters backing, you will achieve them, it would seem!

For Rajdeep Manwani:
This project speech has hardly been done,
With "The Magic Touch" our hearts you have won.

You spoke about how you took Bindu under your wing,
Over 7 minutes of impromptu speaking you proved you are King.

Your speech had a lot of facts and dough,
You spoke all along of what you know.

Facts and anecdotes were at your fingertips,
Humour as always was sweet from your lips.

You approached the topic from many an angle,
Which part of your speech was best, it was difficult to single!

Cheers!!
JAM

Another winner from our club!

This post is loooonnngg overdue... On the 24th of May, Aaron Watson made history when he was declared Winner at the International Speech Contest held at Ovation 2009 in Colombo. It was a historic occasion because he earned the right to be the first Toastmaster from District 82 (Sri Lanka and India) to compete at the World Championship of Public Speaking! Seen below is Watson with District Governor Balraj Arunasalam and Pat Johnson, Second Vice President, TMI, after winning the contest at Colombo.The diminutive Watson joined the club in October 1999. He was then an apprentice at Mico. What stood out in his project speeches was his remarkable voice, loud, strong and variable. Over the course of his growth at Toastmasters, he worked on his strengths and tasted success by being voted the "Best Speaker" every single time he spoke. The turning point came when he won the III place in the International Taped Speech Contest, the first time anyone from our club had won such an accolade. Watson has moved on higher, both professionally and on the Toastmasters ladder. He is now Manager - HR at Sobha Developers, and even led the club for one term as President.
To reach this point, Watson has won speech contests at the Club, Area, Division and now, the District level. Watson will now lock horns with 7 other contestants in the Inter-district Speech Contest on August 11 at Connecticut, USA. If he emerges victorious, he will be at the World Championships on August 15. Would it not be appropriate for a winner from India to be crowned on our Independence Day??
Watson, we are all with you. You carry the hopes, dreams and wishes of all Toastmasters in the No. 1 District in the World! All the very Best!
Cheers,
JAM

Plight of the Indian

I'd promised you in a previous entry that I would look for and share my poems. Well, here's the first... It was published in the school annual when I was in the 8th standard.
Given that there has been a clear mandate from the Indian voter at this election, there's some take-home from these lines. Hope you enjoy it. Feedback is welcome...

Prices keep rising now and then,
Nobody cares for starving women and men.
Prices rise beyond our reach,
But ministers make unwinding speech.
The more they talk, the less they do,
So there lies little hope for me and you!

Daily, poor Indians struggle for their bread,
And everyday, thousands are found dead.
So dear Indians, here's some advice,
Trust no politician who steals your rasam and rice.
Let's join together and build a strong nation,
Where there is freedom and no exploitation!

Cheers,
JAM